4 years today ... WOW

It has been 4 years today ...

Yesterday was the eve, 4 years since the last day I was well, not ill, normal, however you want to put it. Every year on this date things seem even more surreal as I look back on a very long season of my life that most people never thought would turn into years.

July 27th 2006,

Auburn California

I was on vacation to my best friends house. We had the spent the week catching up during summer break, going on adventures, ea

ting lots of bbq, and soaking up the sun. On the 27th we knew our time was drawing near for me to head back home to Oregon for the remainder of the summer. Only to see each other briefly again in Amsterdam for a few quick days of touring Europe b efore I left for Germany's extension campus and her for

the York extension campus. We woke up early that morning and headed off to the river. For anybody that knows me well, you will understand that there is no place on earth that I rather spend my last day healthy. We wakeboarded, and I jumped the wake for the first time, and most likely my last. We had a fun picnic lunch on a rocky bank on the side of the river, and then had contests to see who could swim to the other side and back the quickest. At the end of trip the boat slowly drifted to the dock and I jumped out to grab the rope only to slip and tear open my knee with a rusty nail. We drove home nearly silent in the back of a pickup truck because we were all exhausted, but thankful for the fun we had just had. Upon arriving home we ate a hearty meal with watermelon and my best friend and I laid on the hammock in her backyard and looked at the stars and talked about our upcoming trips. A perfect summer day/night. The last before my world got tipped upside down.

July 28th, 2006, Auburn California

I woke up with what I thought was the flu. Before even standing up, I knew something was wrong. The room was spinning. I felt nauseated, and surprisingly very scared. I packed my bags for the airport, and could hardly lift anything without feeling tired. As I arrived

at the airport the faintness hit me. It was almost like out of a movie, as I looked at th

e people around me, I could just see blurs, random colors, and I was completely overstimulated. There was ALWAYS an inkling in my heart even from these very first moments that told me "Hold on, today is the beginning of a very long journey, its not going to be easy." I believe that was one of the few times in my life where I have heard the Lord vividly and clear.

July 28th/2006 - July 28th 2010

(it would take me a novel, maybe a couple of them to put into words what happened after that day. So I will quickly try to bullet point 4 years.)

*July 29th/fall 2006. Terror struck.

I was quickly put on steroids to ease the inflamation in what the doctors thought was an inner ear problem. One week before I was to leave

for Germany, I had 2

days, just 2, that the medicine had somehow allowed me to believe that I was normal again. I packed my suitcases, went shopping with my mom, and on the way back out to the car, it ALL came back.

* I never left for Germany. Instead a month later I moved down to Auburn California, to live with my best friends family because her mom actually had the same condition I had (interesting) and decided to take me in to help me along with the process. I spent the next 4 months going back and forth from Oregon to California seeking medical attention.

* In January of 2007, I took a leap of faith and returned back to school in southern california even though I was sicker than I had ever been. I had 5 faithful friends who assigned themselfs 1 or 2 days of each week to take care of me. They would get me up in the morning and put me to bed at night and everything you can imagine in between. During this season I was in a wheelchair almost permanantly.

* The summer of 2007 I watched my graduated class graduate, continued to grow more ill, and had the greatest falling out with a friend you could ever imagine. To this day it is still not resolved and is still heavy on my heart. The Lord has made all things new though in His timing, and after 3 years has helped me give the situation up to Him and move on.

* Fall 2007-summer 2008 I spent a year and half back up in Oregon bedridden with the exception of seeing doctors and going to church. I got down to 88 pounds, and thought at countless times that I was living my last day. It wa

s the most lonely time of my life. So very sick, lack of fellowship and no direction. I saw over 70 doctors, and my parents spent over 10,000 dollars on medical bills. To which, not one doctor helped in any way. Thank you mom and Steve for everything you did to help and for never giving up.

*The Lord sent me a new friend during this time, random how it happend, but so thankful. I was in her wedding in April. Melanie Finkle. Shortly after, I began re-communicating with a young man who I had my eye on since before I became sick ...

* Fall 2008 After much time off, I could not go another season searching for answers that would not be found through doctors. So I packed my bags again and headed back to school for my last semester. This is when I made my two best friends.

------ First, Jenny Anderson, one of my 4 wonderful roomates, along wit

h kelli, nicole and Jamie. Jenny was a true gift from the Lord. In every way possible she was used to break down the barriers on my heart, and mend much of the brokeness I had experienced with past friendships. One of the only people who truly knows me and vice versa. I was the maid of honor in Jenny's wedding in the summer of 2009, and she was the matron of honor in my wedding in fall of 2009. (lets not get ahead of ourselfs though.)

------ And then there was Jeremey ;) During this same season I fell in Love. Still so very sick we found countless time to get to know each other. He is my greatest tangible gift I have ever recieved and fits me perfectly in every way. He is the Godly man I had always desired and the life long partner that I had given up imagining. It was when I told the Lord I would be ok with never getting married due to my illness, that the Lord put Jeremey back in my life!

------ I graduated from bible college December 12 2008.

* Spring 2009 I worked as an intern for the bible college for 2 months till I got too ill to make it through work. I moved back to Oregon to seek medical attention. It did not work. I returned back to Cali and moved in with one of my teachers from the bible college, who was bound and determined to ween me back to health through a very very strict diet. This did not work either, but thank you Joe and Theressa for all your support and encouragement.

* Summer 2009 -fall 2009 I watched my best friend get married, I caught the bouquet and one day later Jeremey proposed! I stressfully planned a wedding during the remainder of the summer on into the fall semester, and on October 25th 2009, I walked down the isle and gave the rest of my life to Jeremey Luke Quinn Wilson. We spent 2 weeks on our honeymoon in So Cal, and Florida and flew right into the holidays as two newlywed Lovebirds!

* Spring 2010 Jeremey and I wrote, produced, directed and acted in what was my first full feature film, his 3rd or 4th. In 4 months we took on the impossible (apart from the Lord), and on May 16th 2010 showed the premiere for the movie in a packed out theater. The Lord gave me much strength during this time, though still very ill, to come alongside my husband and work creatively to glorify the Lord. You can see the movie online on calvarychapelbiblecollege.com , search for "Home Schooled."

* Also in Spring 2010 Jeremey and I found out were were expecting our beautiful baby girl. Our little miracle. Now she is nearly halfway cooked, and will be arriving in December. The perfect Christmas gift!!!

Seems like a lot has happened in the last 4 years. Some of the hardest, darkest time in my life, contrasted with beautiful and joyful moments. The whole journey I have been very ill, but after 4 years am finally finding that though life is not as simple sick as it is healthy, the Lord is still working, still moving, and is still good. I am so thankful that that last day I was well, He allowed me to do my very favorite thing in the world, by being on the river. He knows His daughter. PRAISE HIM!

My husband/my babies daddy

I just wanted to take a moment and dedicate a blog post to my incredible husband. Though of course I am bias in every way possible, I believe that he is the greatest one in the world. Even if I were to only know him from a distance I would still believe the same thing ;)

Jeremey pursued me in some of the darkest years of my life, overlooking all the health issues I posessed, and trusting the Lord that I was the one for him. He knew going into our marriage that it was not going to be like those of the rest of his friends or family, and still he Loved me and chose me. He knew that I was not able to work, that I was bed ridden most of the time, that I was going to rack up a good medical bill and countless other things ... yet still he knew I was the one for him. When I think about how much he must have gone through in those months where we were growing closer, knowing that he was walking into a situation that most will not face till they are old and crippled, I am astounded by his faith. Why would he chose me??? What good am I??? He is Godly man, and as I'm sure these thoughts crossed his mind too, he did not let them carve a wedge between himself and what the Lord wanted.

Even now, 9 months after our wedding. He has only grown more. His selflessness has not waned just because the wedding bells have stopped ringing. He has stepped up as a man of true character and faith. My husband has endured a lot, but very rarely with a bad attitude (we are all human right?) If you know him personally, you will have seen that even in the most difficult of times, he is always cracking a joke, singing a song, or doing a dance, but that he is also incredibly compassionate and mindful of those around him. He is my treasure.

Since being pregnant, his responsibilities have become even heavier, as I have become and continue to be so very sick. He endures so many sleepless nights, and the baby has not even yet arrived. He is not only the bread winner, but the house maker, the cook, does the laundry, shops for groceries, you name it, he does it. He does all the things I cannot do, plus everything else. It is difficult at times, not to look at my role as a wife and get down on myself for doing so little, but that is where his true Love shows through, he continually tells me that this is what the Lord has called him to do. He does not expect for me to be like all the other wives. I will never be them. I can only be who the Lord wants and allows me to be, and Jeremey only expects me to trust the Lord with that one simple thing ... how encouraging is that???

And now, this wonderful man is going to the be the father to our baby girl. Her and I are SO blessed. Thank you Jeremey for your sacrifice and selflessness. I Love you babe!

She's a GIRL!!!

I know this is a little late, and most of you know already, but 2 weeks ago we got our 3D ultrasound done, and it was indeed a little girl. All of our intuition was correct!!! We are thrilled! This is a picture of our angel at 14 weeks, she is now almost 17. While on vacation in Arizona this last week, I'm pretty sure I felt her kick for the first time, she tends to like to flutter around more in the evening, but it is still very hard to detect at times. Over the last few weeks I think I have experienced just about every pregnancy symptom in the book. Once one weans, another picks up. Bouts of migraines, nausea, fainting, you name it I've probably endured it. The nausea though, seems to be heading out the door, just occationally coming back for brief visits, while my appetite appears to be picking up. Maybe I'll finally start putting on some weight! And the tummy is finally starting to pop. It's no fun having people continually tell you that you don't look pregnant, when you feel consistantly destroyed by its symptoms, so I am looking forward to finally having the tummy out to play. (Though I might be regretting this comment a few months down the road). Anyways, a lot has been happening, and there is much to write about. I'll probably be writing again soon about our trip, and all the wonderful memories we made while there! I would also Love it if you could keep me in prayer as I have had a horrendous time sleeping in the last month. I can go 3 or 4 days without sleep, and in the end it turns my body upside down, and pray for Jeremey as he is having to deal with ME, hahaha. No but seriously Jeremey is phenominal, and is running off the strength of the Lord, but could always use all the prayer he can get!

IF YOU CAN'T TELL, THE PICTURE IS OF OUR LITTLE GIRL SITTING IN THE PLACENTA WITH HER LEFT ARM IN THE AIR GIVING US A THUMBS UP. YOU CAN SEE HER EYE SOCKETS, TINY LITTLE NOSE AND LIPS, AND HER LEFT KNEE UP NEAR HER TUMMY! WE LOVE HER!!!

A quick new post

For those that thought I had given up on blogging, I HAVEN'T. Jeremey and I have just been on vacation for the last week and a half, but will soon be home to share of all the new and exciting adventures that have been going on in our lives. There are countless subjects! But for now I thought I would post a quick picture of a few of my nieces Emily and Trinity. While here in Arizona there are a WIDE variety of little ones (nieces and nephews) to play, cuddle and hang out with. 11 to be exact. We Love each one of them, and enjoy every moment we get to spend watching them grow up. Though we do always wish we lived a little closer, so we could pour into them the Love of the Lord, and so our new little baby could grow up with it's cousins. But whatever the situation, we appreciate the time we do get to spend with them. Happy 4th of July!!!