This blog will sound like a big downer till you get to the end. So bare with me ;)
(It's been a hard week. I get in terrible cycles of insomnia, and I am now on my 4th day/night with hardly any sleep at all. This sets my vertigo off, and I get really bad headaches and can hardly move out of bed or off the couch. Not to mention that if I ever do fall asleep, I will wake up within an hour to use the restroom. Small bladder due to pregnancy. Along with that, it has been confirmed that I have gestational diabetes ... which leads to our family having to really change the way we eat, having way more doctor appointments (I don't drive), checking my blood levels 4 times a day, and forcing this mom with a sweet tooth to exercise self control. This has been a hard thing for me, though I know that we cannot CAUSE gestational diabetes, it still makes me feel like a failure that I acquired it. We aren't exactly the organic shoppers/eaters that california is known for, and we aren't exactly big cooks. We do a lot of simple cooking, eat at the school here on campus, or eat out at semi healthy to semi non healthy restaurants, haha. In the end though with this food restriction diet, things need to change a lot. No more going out, no more school food, and a lot more in the kitchen, carb counting. My husband is the main cook, due to all my health issue with vertigo, and especially since I've been advised by my doctor to not lift or move very much at all in this stage of my pregnancy. So the heat has been turned up for him ... for all of us really. We could use all the prayer we can get with Jeremey having a million and one projects to get done before River arrives in 5 weeks, me as a hormonal/insomniac/pregnant mess, and Tatum as a highly energetic 2 year old who with much conviction asks both of us every 10 seconds to "play with me momma, play with me dadda?" Imagine my broken heart as I tell her I am not feeling well, and need to rest.)
... well as I was making her breakfast, I hear her yelling this from her room ...
Tatum: "Momma Momma you sick??? Momma you sick???"
I quickly run into her room.
Me: "Good morning baby, what did you say?"
Tatum: "Momma sick?"
Me: (Kind of confused and taken back that she's asking me this) "yeah, I'm not feeling well, how come you are asking that?"
Tatum: "Momma pray with me?" (I thought she was saying "play with me" till I saw her put her hands together to pray."
Me: "Oh pray with me? You want to pray for me because I'm sick?"
Tatum: "YEAH!"
Me: (Emotional, heart strings being pulled, while cinematic music plays in my head.) "awww, yeah go ahead."
Tatum: Then grabs my head with both hands and puts our foreheads together, closes her eyes and puts her hands around my neck, and begins mumbling under her breath for about 10 seconds, ending it with a big "AMEN."
Me: "Thank you baby, I needed that."
Tatum: "Your WELCOME momma!"
Best mom moment to date, and a timely reminder of the Lords Grace, and love for me in this difficult season! I find it so odd that she woke up thinking about me, and that I might not be feeling well. So much so, that that first thing she wanted to do was pray for me. Being a mom, especially a sick mom, and especially especially a pregnant sick mom, is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but I'll say it a million times over, having a child is a thousand times more fulfilling, more exciting, and more adventurous than not having one. What will having two be like? ;)
