Not yet, but soon!

39 weeks, and really looking BIG

I'm back, and might be back again still. Nope, no baby yet ... trust me I am more anxious than anyone. But now I have switched into, "I don't think this baby is ever going to come out mood." I realized just a couple days ago something pretty significant. Since being sick for over 4 years with no answers to any of my symptoms, I have a strange but real "complex" that forces me into believing that all physical symptoms I ever get, whether that be a cold, a hang nail, the flu, anything, will never leave or never heal. I have realized that I have done the same thing with pregnancy. Somewhere deep within me I actually think that my pregnancy symptoms will never go away, and that this baby will just continue to grow and grow just the same way my real illness has. Weird huh? With my chronic vertigo there is no tangible light at the end of the tunnel, besides heaven of course, and daily I forget that this baby WILL COME OUT. The breaking back pain will subside, my bladder, and pelvic pain will subside. My nausea will go away, heartburn will take a hike, I will be able to walk without shooting pains, and feeling as though im going to pass out. I will be able to sleep better (but less, I know), and I will be able to see the fruits of my labor, and hold in my arms all that was causing so much discomfort! Being pregnant is NOT chronic. But I keep thinking it is. S0 strange how your brain can play tricks on you, well, actually it's the enemy who is playing the tricks on me. He is trying to steal my joy, and make me see pregnancy the same way I see chronic illness. He is not going to win though!

At the beginning of this semester, Jeremey and I had a long list of events and "to do's" leading up to the birth of our baby. The list was quite daunting, as fall is such a busy season for most people. It seemed as though our checklist of birthdays, and weddings, filming weddings, anniversarys, work projects and other deadlines would never end and we would never reach the final box to check off (our babies due date). But we have made it. The final event to check off our list was the end of the fall semester and the finalizing of the semester highlight video for the students. This is one of Jeremey's main focus' here on campus, and it's a great tool to take home to friends and family to show them what goes on each semester. The video I posted below is the ending of the this years highlights. The full video can be seen at www.calvarychapelbiblecollege.com. It's sort of a surreal video for me to watch as it signifies a very long season, leading up to such a great ending. Though this video can mean so many different things to the students and staff here on campus, to me, it means WE HAVE MADE IT. The Lord has carried us through to the finish line. Here we go!

(Our due date is in one week. We will let every one of our dear friends know through mass text when she arrives. Do not worry, we aren't going to leave you in the dark, and will try to contact you through text before you randomly find out on facebook. We have had a few requests from friends and family that they would like to be informed as soon as I start going into labor, so they can pray through the whole grueling process right when it is happening, which will be much needed. I know that most of you will not want to know, or be woken up in the middle of the night, I totally understand. But if you are one of the crazy ones ;) send me a message on here, or on facebook and let me know and we will put you on the "no matter what time of day" list. It could still be up to two weeks, or tonight ... Pray SHE COMES SOON!)