From Christmas to New years ...

I never thought in a million years I would say it ... but I must ... I did NOT have my baby before Christmas. Did anybody on this planet think that would ever happen??? We opened all her gifts without her and had no baby to stuff in an oversized stocking to stick under the tree for adorable pictures. Instead my belly grew bigger and my discomfort stronger ... Now we wait ... shifting our gears to ... HAVING A NEW YEARS BABY ... wow, then again I just looked at the calendar and realized that that date is only 6 days away, and at this point I wouldn't put anything past the "toddler" living inside me. She is on her own schedule. For the sake of the switchover of insurance we have starting on January 1st, and the massive headache and sheer chaos that may come from it, will you all be praying that somehow we can have her, and be out of the hospital by the 31st? We know that whatever happens the Lord will take care of us, but why not ask the Lord for specifics right, asking in His WILL. Also be praying that I can somehow deliver an overdue baby WITHOUT induction and without a C section ... Love you all, Merry Christmas and a very happy new year from the Wilsons 2.99999!!!

My daughter is due today, December 20th 2010!!!

Baby Brynn, with my one and only doll growing up. Her name was Ninja Baby. Can you tell I grew up with brothers?

Baby Jeremey looking super cute in his onesie, with that same smile and energy for life as he has now!

I have never been more emotional in my life than I am right now ... (haha) so many hormones. I just looked at the clock and it is 12:20 on 12/20. I have been waiting for this day for 10 months, and the emotions just hit me like a weight I have never felt before. My daughter is due TODAY. Now I know it could still be days away, but there is something about this certain day arriving that sends shivers across my skin, and anxiousness through my blood, and a joy/fear so great through my heart that I truly don't even know what emotion I am feeling anymore. hahaha. I was so certain I would not make it to this day during my pregnancy, in fact I would have bet nearly anything I would deliver early. So now I lay here feeling like I have been thrown to the wind, wandering aimlessly toward a date that only the Lord knows. I have heard countless things about the physical discomfort and pain you feel at the 40th week of pregnancy, but how come nobody ever told me that I would feel like a teenage girl, on her period, after getting dumped before prom, on the day her dog died, while being stranded on a desert island??? TOTAL exaggeration, but none the less, I am a nut. hahaha. Poor poor husband of mine. I Love you Jeremey! So today is the day, and unless things pick up really quickly I think today is going to come and go pretty quickly. With Christmas being so close there is this extra hint of stress to get this baby out soon, but I suppose at this point, we will be celebrating her birthday in July regardless, so she doesn't feel jipped of a birthday her whole life. Thank you to the many many who have been praying. Sorry if I haven't responded back to some of your messages, calls or texts lately, know that I read each one, and am grateful beyond words for your concern and Love. Baby _ _ _ _ _ middle name Wilson. You have been a wonderful, energy filled, vibrant little trooper inside my belly for 10 months. We prayed countless prayers for you to develop fully and to grow strong, we have wept over you, jumped for joy over you, spent hours upon hours watching and feeling you move, and have had a gazillion people guess your name (to which not one person has EVER guessed. to all you guessers out there) We could not be more excited that you have made it this far, and will continue to wait till you are ready. Just know your mom has a lot of growing to do in the area of PATIENCE ... hint hint. Come soon!

Not yet, but soon!

39 weeks, and really looking BIG

I'm back, and might be back again still. Nope, no baby yet ... trust me I am more anxious than anyone. But now I have switched into, "I don't think this baby is ever going to come out mood." I realized just a couple days ago something pretty significant. Since being sick for over 4 years with no answers to any of my symptoms, I have a strange but real "complex" that forces me into believing that all physical symptoms I ever get, whether that be a cold, a hang nail, the flu, anything, will never leave or never heal. I have realized that I have done the same thing with pregnancy. Somewhere deep within me I actually think that my pregnancy symptoms will never go away, and that this baby will just continue to grow and grow just the same way my real illness has. Weird huh? With my chronic vertigo there is no tangible light at the end of the tunnel, besides heaven of course, and daily I forget that this baby WILL COME OUT. The breaking back pain will subside, my bladder, and pelvic pain will subside. My nausea will go away, heartburn will take a hike, I will be able to walk without shooting pains, and feeling as though im going to pass out. I will be able to sleep better (but less, I know), and I will be able to see the fruits of my labor, and hold in my arms all that was causing so much discomfort! Being pregnant is NOT chronic. But I keep thinking it is. S0 strange how your brain can play tricks on you, well, actually it's the enemy who is playing the tricks on me. He is trying to steal my joy, and make me see pregnancy the same way I see chronic illness. He is not going to win though!

At the beginning of this semester, Jeremey and I had a long list of events and "to do's" leading up to the birth of our baby. The list was quite daunting, as fall is such a busy season for most people. It seemed as though our checklist of birthdays, and weddings, filming weddings, anniversarys, work projects and other deadlines would never end and we would never reach the final box to check off (our babies due date). But we have made it. The final event to check off our list was the end of the fall semester and the finalizing of the semester highlight video for the students. This is one of Jeremey's main focus' here on campus, and it's a great tool to take home to friends and family to show them what goes on each semester. The video I posted below is the ending of the this years highlights. The full video can be seen at www.calvarychapelbiblecollege.com. It's sort of a surreal video for me to watch as it signifies a very long season, leading up to such a great ending. Though this video can mean so many different things to the students and staff here on campus, to me, it means WE HAVE MADE IT. The Lord has carried us through to the finish line. Here we go!

(Our due date is in one week. We will let every one of our dear friends know through mass text when she arrives. Do not worry, we aren't going to leave you in the dark, and will try to contact you through text before you randomly find out on facebook. We have had a few requests from friends and family that they would like to be informed as soon as I start going into labor, so they can pray through the whole grueling process right when it is happening, which will be much needed. I know that most of you will not want to know, or be woken up in the middle of the night, I totally understand. But if you are one of the crazy ones ;) send me a message on here, or on facebook and let me know and we will put you on the "no matter what time of day" list. It could still be up to two weeks, or tonight ... Pray SHE COMES SOON!)

This could be it! My pregnancy journey coming full circle!

I started this blog nearly 7 months ago, shortly after I got pregnant, on a whim, and with a mission to tell my unique story of being chronically ill while simultaneously growing a new life inside of me. I desired for friends, and family to have a deeper understanding of the journey I have been going through over the past 4 years, and for those same people to see the supernatural power and hand of Jesus Christ in my life as He transformed and knit together a little miracle inside my womb. To my surprise and ultimate delight these desires were accomplished 10 fold, and my simple little blog has reached thousands, many a thousands, a lot of which I assume are people I have never met and never will meet. If you are one of those people, I hope you have seen Jesus in my journey.

Over the last few months, my blog posts have been more practical updates, explaining details of my baby progressing, or noting the new and exciting adventures and milestones that my husband and I have been experiencing. Not knowing how many days or hours I have left till I go into labor I wanted to make sure I was able to bring my blog back to its original purpose at least one more time before things started getting really crazy. I want to be real, haha. So no holding back on this one. I want for those of you that read this, to know my fears, not just to know them, but so you can pray more efficiently, with more understanding, and more guidance.

• First, the last 9 months have not just been hard, or uncomfortable, they have been nearly impossible. The Lord has carried me. I was never put on official bedrest, but I have been in bed nearly the whole journey. Each trimester had its own fire that I had to endure. 1st trimester, (The battle of shock, adjustment and physical shut down ) all day nausea, extreme fatigue, lost 7 pounds. 2nd trimester (The emotional battle, and the battle of reoccurring and intensified previous illness) My hardest trimester, my vertigo came back in full force and 5 times stronger than my normal sickness. When everyone tells you that the second trimester is the best, and then you feel at least 100 times worse, you begin to face emotional battles that you never knew existed. I doubted every single ability I had, and didn't know if I could make it to the end. 3rd trimester, (The body battle), my little frame has a difficult time carrying so much weight. Because I have been so sick for 4 years, my body has no endurance, so doing the simplest of tasks is like running a marathon. Every day gets harder.
• Second, situationally, and emotionally my illness throughout this pregnancy has separated me further and further from friends. I have gone missing in many respects in fear that people could not handle to see me in such dire times. It's been sort of strange. People can sympathize with pregnancy illness to some extent, but to lay on top it a debilitating condition that I previously had, confuses people. I feel as though people just don't get why it's so hard, and I very much understand your confusion. I have friends in my life who battle with all sorts of illnesses, and in my lack of understanding in previous years I couldn't fathom why it was so hard for them either. I guess we all have to come to a place where we realize that we can never understand the pain of another, and to be careful to be respectful of that, and not assume that we could deal with it better than them.
• Third, as the time draws near, I am becoming so excited to meet my daughter that I can hardly stand it. I want to cuddle her NOW. But I still have enormous fears, that I need much prayer for. My body is so tired. As many of you know, or maybe not, I also have chronic insomnia. Have had it since freshman year of high school, almost 12 years. So when I say that I don't sleep, I mean it, not that it's just uncomfortable to sleep, but really, I will just lie awake no matter how tired I am. This is gearing me up for a very difficult delivery as I need as much energy as possible. Please pray that the Lord will give me HIS strength to push and endure contractions. Pray that I do not have to have a C section, the recovery process might kill me, haha. Out of the 13 grandchildren on Jeremey's side, all 13 were C-sections (all for good reasons though). I would Love to be the first Wilson of this generation to do it naturally. Still one of my other greatest fears is my ability to take care of my child after she is born. Having no clue as to how I will feel, how my vertigo will react to labor and medication, and so on I need so much prayer! Fear in finances, and medical bills, don't we all kind of fear this??? With one income, and a hefty medical record on my part alone is scary. Now another little life to care for and much prayer needed. Fear that my husband we soon collapse from overworking. His 8-5 job is great, he gets to do what he Loves, and has a great boss who is one of his best friends, but when he gets home is when the real job begins. Soon he will be caring for not only a sick wife but a little baby who keeps him up all night, not to mention a million side jobs that line up, and are a HUGE blessing, but still time consuming. Please pray for him!

All that said, I don't want any of you to think I'm over here complaining about the near future, I'm thrilled about the future, I'm just being informative, haha, and getting back to the reality of the situation and what this blog was initially all about. Jesus sustaining me, through the impossible. Upholding me through fire. Pulling me out of darkness and back into His light. Blessing me with his Love through others, a fantastic family, amazing in-laws, and supportive friends. Overflowing me with His grace when I don't deserve it. Giving me second, and third, and a million other chances to depend on Him and nothing else. Showering me with the Love of an honest, hardworking, Loving, and terribly entertaining husband. AND forming a beautiful vibrant life inside of me, my cuddly, beautiful, beat all the odds, miracle baby girl. I would have none of this without the Lord. I would have withered away a long time ago. There is a great joy in knowing and trusting Jesus. My advice to anyone struggling through something difficult, whether physically, situationally or emotionally would be this. Be honest in your struggles, stop pretending that you have life all figured out. Stop trying to look perfect, nobody is buying it, because nobody is perfect, to try to act that way, it will drive you insane and you will never achieve it. Let the Lord take those burdens, admit to him your weaknesses and express your need for Him.

SO SO soon my baby will be arriving, and though I expressed many fears of mine above. I want to tell you just one more. From the day I found out I was pregnant, I feared the health of my child. Being chronically ill myself I have been scared out of mind to see my child suffer. (My mom has had to see me suffer for over 4 years now, and though I understand some aspects of it, I haven't the slightest clue how difficult it has been for her). Though every test and ultrasound have come back fine so far, there is so still a great fear. Who knows what could happen in these final days. I need not fear because the Lord is in control, but I still do. Please pray for this.

I am almost 38 weeks pregnant, and if she arrives early, this could be my last blog before my life changes forever. But if she decides to stay in there for a while, I will probably be back to tell you how much I want her out, hahaha. eeek. It's so crazy. My greatest desire my entire life was to be a mother. I don't care about degrees, and jobs, and big houses and traveling and embracing my youth, and establishing myself, or any of those other things. The Lord says that children are one of the greatest blessings. Thank you to all of you bible college wives/moms out there who have shown me just how true that really is! And to all of you who have been reading this, I hope it has blessed you, and made you laugh at times too. I can't wait to share with you about life out of the womb. And to my precious Jeremey, I Love you so much, thank you for encouraging me to write this blog in the first place, and for encouraging me to continue it. We will always have a journal of our first child's pregnancy journey. Thank you for doing EVERYTHING, and for making me laugh every day. And to my little fizzywig, lil bit, roo, wiggleworm, pumpkin head, and all the other millions of names we have for you, including your real one, I Love you, now GET out of there, and come make "The Wilson 3" truly 3!

3 1/2 more weeks, shots of the belly!

36 1/2 week belly shot! We had an appointment today, and the doctor said:

1. She has definitely dropped.

2. That I was a good amount effaced.

3. That I was probably dilated but couldn't tell how much because her head was pushing down so hard on the uterus at a weird angle.

4. That she might be a little early!

The Dynamic Duo.

Well, my husband is very sick, and I can hardly move. We make quite the dynamic team right now. A flash forward into our senior citizen years. I am a little over 9 months pregnant (36 1/2 weeks) and moving my pinky toe takes a grand effort. The "I can't move without pain and exhaution, get this kid out of me stage" has kicked into full gear. To make things even harder Jeremey has gotten progressively sicker over the last coupledays. Started out as a cough, and now he's just about as out of it as I am. Darn winter season sickness. If I were to go into labor now, I think he might be laying in a bed next to me in the hospital. (Thats sort of an exaggeration, but I am seriously praying that nothing sudden happens in the next few days with the baby, because he probably wouldn't be able to be in the delivery room.) Praise the Lord, I haven't caught his cough and other symptoms!!!

Update on the latest Wilson news:

- Jeremey turned 26 last friday. He was so blessed by so many friends, and wants to thank you all for the kind gestures and gifts!

- We spent the weekend getting all the last minute baby stuff. Her room is set, all we have to do is set up our room, so she can stay with us for a while after she is born.

- We put the car seat in the car, it is ready to go. That makes it very real.

-Tomorrow is the first OB appointment where they will check to see how dilated I am, and all the other fun stuff. It is so exciting!

- My friend, who has been just ONE week ahead of me during this whole pregnancy, went into labor this weekend, and had her baby Lola June Avery, 3 1/2 weeks early. Her baby is doing great! Congrats BJ!

- The baby seems to be doing great, we thought she had dropped, as of tonight, because of the pressure, and blah blah blah (you other moms know what I'm talking about) and because she isn't moving as much. But we know our little girl likes to trick us and will probably make a run for it soon, and try to turn and flip around. I think she might have already.

- Please pray for Jeremey. He is sleeping in the baby room right now on a spare mattress, because he feels so sick, and I tend to take up too much space on the bed. Would hate for him to be sick on Thanksgiving. Thanks guys. (Hopefully I will have a new belly photo up tomorrow!)

Home Schooled cast delivers first baby!

For those that don't know ... This is the cover of the new movie Jeremey and I filmed/directed/wrote and produced this last spring. If it looks cheesy that's because it is. I am posting this because the 2 main characters in the film (pictured in the center, Katie Ancheta, and my husband) both found out during the filming of the film that they were EXPECTING. Yes I know it sounds strange, the 2 main characters of a christian bible college movie playing 18 year old kids were, when in actuality they were both married, Katie 28 years old and Jeremey 25, kinda trippy. Katie found out she was pregnant during the 4th week of filming I believe, and I found I was pregnant around the 8th. She was 5 weeks ahead of me, and we started this long journey together way back in March. So big NEWS, Katie brought her beautiful baby boy Josiah Elisha Ancheta into this world 2 days ago on November 17th! He is such a cutie! And you all know what that means, I'm NEXT. It becomes very real when the person who is right ahead of you in her pregnancy journey delivers her baby. Congrats Katie and Mike. For anybody who watches the credits in movies, you might have seen a very special dedication to both of our unborn babies at the very end. It's so neat to have names and faces to match those dedications, though mine won't be revealed for a couple weeks still.

Oh and PS: Remember those baby Tom's shoes I posted about wanting for my little girl a while back? Well the "bad girl" in our movie, the girl on the very end on the right, Sharrah Robeson, who is in Spain this Semester at the bible college extension campus sent them to me as a gift. They are truly the cutest things you have ever seen. Thanks again Sharrah! (Shes not a bad girl in real life, she just plays one in the movies.)

Shoot lets just go ahead and give an update on the cast in this picture. starting from the far left, Kathryn, is working on campus here, and gearing up to get married to her sweetheart soon. Next to her Amanda, just got married this last weekend to her husband Dave. It was a great wedding! Daniel Belzman is working on campus here still and I assume still making people laugh. Katie, well, I just told you about her. Jeremey, he's being an awesome husband and gearing up for his new baby. Aaron Sabio is over in the Phillipines working at the bible college extension campus there. Sharrah is in Spain like I mentioned above. We miss you Aaron and Sharrah. And Kyle Seeger the one whos hands and neck are pictured (played Chip in the movie) is here at the bible college, getting ready to graduate in 3 weeks! We Love you all!

Well, isn't that the strangest thing???

Well, hmmm. I'm still a little confused ... At my last doctors appointment (2 weeks ago) I hadn't gained even one pound in 2 weeks. So my OB put me on a diet of 7 meals a day, lots of powerbars, and ensures and, with a homework project to up my caloric intake by a significant amount. I was still measuring quite small. Today, 2 weeks later I went in again, thinking to myself, "I have hardly been eating more at all, in fact I have been feeling pretty nauseated again, so it's been harder for me to eat, so I'll be surprised if I gained anything." Typical, in unpredictable Brynn style, I gained 7 pounds in 2 weeks ... WHAT!?!?!? Jeremey and I were celebrating and cheering while I was on the scale, the nurse thought it was so funny, telling us that she had never seen a couple be so excited about weight gain. When my doctor came in her first words were "wow, you really took your homework project seriously and up'ed that caloric intake." She asked if I had been overeating, and Jeremey and I both agreed that I had been eating a bit more, but still not as much as a normal non-pregnant person eats everyday. So strange. So she down cut my calorie intake, and told me to watch how much I am eating in the next week. Now isn't that the strangest thing??? I am told for 33 weeks straight to gain gain gain, you're too small, your belly isn't measuring right, your baby is too little, eat more, and then BAM, they tell me to take it easy and ask if I'm overeating???? Hahahaha. I think it is so funny, so ironic, and SO ME. So many twists and turns. My mom thinks they might have weighed me wrong last appointment when I hadn't gained anything, I have the same feeling, but who knows. But this does explain why I feel SOOO pregnant lately, and sooo tired. It took me 6 months to gain 7 pounds at the beginning of this pregnancy, and now I did that in 2 weeks, eeek. Well, there's a strange update for you. Till next time!

Baby shower/pics!

Finally, I can whip up a quick post about my baby shower. It was wonderful, quaint, yet packed with so many people I Love and cherish. Emily and Beth thank you so much for going out of your way to bless me and my family. It's hard to believe that I, BRYNN WILSON, had a BABY SHOWER. I'm having a BABY!!! So unreal. The shower was just perfect for all my little oddball traits and health concerns, so thank you guys for being so mindful of that too! And to everyone that was able to be there, thank you for coming and supporting my new little girl. She has no idea how many new friends she is going to have once she gets here, considering most of you have children. What a great place to raise a child! Here are a few pics from the party! Mostly of just me, cuz well, my mother in law was taking them, and she only knew me, hahaha, makes sense.

Games and food, what a great combo!

So many gifts, so overwhelemed, but so so blessed!

It's hard to see here, but this is a picture of me when I was baby with a very special "blankie." My mom knit a similar one for my baby. Such a great gift!

Awesome gift from Kate Adams, hand made, Jeremey Loves that Elephant beanie more than anyone. We can't wait to take pictures of our little one in it!

Claire was my little helper the whole time, and she did a great job. She even helped explained certain gifts to me that I may have been a little confused about. She's the oldest of four kids, so she probably knows a lot more about baby stuff than I do.
When we got home that night, Jeremey got out all the gifts from the shower so he could experience what I had. So cute. This is him opening up the gift from his mom, a full on amazing scrapbooked babybook. He was very impressed with his moms work. We all were!

THANKS EVERYONE!!!!

Our families are the greatest BLESSING we could ever ask for!

Last week began a time of mad exhaustion but extreme blessing as my mom and Jeremey's mom, dad, and one of his sisters came to California to stay with us. My mom came a few days early and blessed our socks off. She helped us make our new place a home, furnished our baby room, stocked our kitchen up with food, and overall was such a joy and went way out of her way to make us feel Loved and so special during such a chaotic time in our lives. Thanks mom, we Love you. Jeremey's family then arrived and did the same. They filled our stomachs with amazing food as we dinned out with great dinners, helped us with many fixer upper projects in our home, and brought us many laughs! Thank you guys, it means the world to us! Jeremey and I feel like our families came in and just made everything fall into place. We got the stroller put together (which Jeremey actually did all on his own!) We were blessed with a a new dining table, and had it set up. We got new breaks on our car, and free mechanic to put them together (Jeremey's dad), The babies crib, dresser, bedding and closets were, bought, assembled, put together and organized. A big sigh of relief for getting so much done and a great thanking of the Lord followed as our families departed. We looked back on a week full of such selflessness from all of them. We are now nearly ready for our daughter to come home!

Almost 34 week belly photos!

I may still be small to a lot of people, but I feel like she is going to pop out soon. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't think, hahaha, she has taken over all my major functions, but I Love her more every day! (I look exhausted in these and sorry for the strange iphone coloring).

Wiggly toes and scrunchy nose! Meet our funny/precious little daughter!!!

Here she is in her second 4d ultrasound. She is 33 weeks along. My mom, Jeremey and I were so blessed to see how active she was. In fact, again, the ultrasound tech said she was one of the most active babies she had seen. She was playing with the umbilical cord the whole time, chewing on it, and moving it around her face. She was also being a little acrobat and had her feet right up in her eyes. She would flex and wiggle her toes, and when the tech told me to try to move her foot out of the way of her face so we could get a clearer picture, we could see her start to scrunch her face and cry because her "entertainment" got taken away from her. She is so funny. For those that aren't experts at viewing ultrasounds, the bottom picture is of her scrunched up with her foot in her face, because she was moving so much we could only capture half of her face, so that's why it may look a little strange. The umbilical cord is across her chin in all of the pictures so that explains why it might look like its missing. We Love her so much. (Tons to blog about from this past week with all of our guests, and of the baby shower, stay posted!).

1 year anniversary/8 months pregnant = October 25th 2010

Today is a very special day. It is Jeremey and my 1 year anniversary, and our little ones 8th month in the womb. The Lord has blessed us with so many gifts and we are really so undeserving. This year has gone by faster than any other time period in my life, and has been more jampacked with highs and lows than I could have ever imagined. No matter what the circumstance, or what the event there hasn't been one moment where I haven't cherished the time I have had with my husband. I am amazed by the man that he is, and am a billion times more in Love with him now than I have ever been. Marriage is so beautiful. One year ago today we vowed our lives to one another. It was the most incredible wedding I have ever been to, hahaha :) Here are a few pictures from the day!

This weekend we celebrated our anniversary early, and headed to Downtown Disney for the weekend. We have spent the last 2 halloweens at disneyland/disneyworld parks, (or at least the halloween season) so we thought we would make it a tradition and go for 3. We both Love the Disney atmosphere and just feeling like kids again. (hence the reason why we spent our honeymoon in Disneyworld). Because I am super pregnant, and can't go on any of the rides inside the park anyways, we just had a nice dinner in downtown disney and strolled around enjoying our time together! We ate at Joes Crab shack, which was the first resturant we ate at on our honeymoon. Jeremey couldnt believe how much I ate, and well, honestly either could I. I Love stalking up for my baby!!!

The first picture is from us at Joe's Crab shack this last weekend. The picture below it is from one year ago on our honeymoon. Too bad you can't see my belly in the top picture, But it's there and it's growing! I don't know why but I am just so bad at taking belly shots. It's just something I don't think about doing very often and when I do, I often feel to sick to dare snap a picture of myself. (Also sorry the picture is so dark, another blurry iphone shot taken by a busy waitress.) But like I said before I am 8 months along today. How crazy is that?

Not much longer and the anticipation is definitely growing. Tomorrow my

mom is flying down from Oregon to spend the week with us. She hasn't seen me pregnant yet, so this is going to be pretty monumental for her. I am having my baby shower this Saturday, and so Jeremey's family is also coming for the weekend. It should be such a joyous time, filled with many pictures that can fullfill your belly shot desires for at least a little while. Sorry to all of you who keep asking. Speaking of the baby shower, it is this weekend, Saturday the 30th, at 2pm, for those that live at or near the bible college. The evites have gone out, but I know from personal experience with email and evites that I often overlook a lot of emails, and miss a lot of events, haha. I am horrible with email. So here is a little reminder or a heads up for those of you that may be like me, and haven't heard anything about the shower. I am registered at babies r us, just search Brynn Wilson on the baby registry if you are interested. Some of you have also been wondering about what colors the baby room will be. I am not sure if we will get around to painting the room for a while, considering we are still moving in and situating ourselves. But we want to go with grey and yellow. The calm mellow yellow and grey. We aren't picky though, and will appreciate anything in any color, haha. This is kind of the feel we are going for as far as colors go.

Well I guess that is all for now, there is much celebrating to be done and lost of company to get ready for. This truly is such an exciting time looking back on a whole year with the Love of my life, and our soon to be new addition. I never would have expected to be here in a new home, with a new tiny life, getting ready for my entire world to change in a matter of weeks, But boy am I glad it all worked out this way. Jeremey and I are blown away by the Lord's continuous hand on our lifes, and will always covet and appreciate your prayers for our future!

False alarm

False alarm ... no, not the OMG, I think I'm going into labor type false alarm ... Praise the Lord ... but the "something might be wrong with your baby" type, which can actually be worse. Jeremey and I have been very realistic in the last nearly 8 months, knowing that at any time we could be hit with news that our baby is not 100% perfect. With all my medical issues, in a weird way, we have been expecting it. Every appointment up until she started kicking we would hold our breath while the doctor looked for a heart beat, and I have always been overly cautious and worried about every little twinge, or oddball thing that has come up concerning my baby. I think most moms are probably like this huh. Sometimes it it just so hard to trust the Lord and give up the worrying ...

At my 30 week appointment, my doctor said I was measuring way too small, or the baby, rather was measuring too small. A whole month (26 weeks). I know there are a thousand things that an OB could say that could be worse and set our world into a tailspin, but I was still a bit worried. I beat myself up a bit, believing that it was my fault, not eating enough, being sick, not taking the right vitamins, and so on. Had my baby stopped growing? Was something even greater wrong with her? Was she suffering inside of me because my body is so weak? The doctor set up a special ultrasound to be done just a few days later, this ultrasound would measure the baby exactly, instead of the OB just assuming there is something wrong by the size of my belly. We were a bit concerned but also excited that we would get to see our little ones face again, it's been a while. As fun as ultrasounds are though, I'm actually not a huge fan, only because they make you drink so much water that you feel like your bladder and your baby are gonna pop right out of you. Plus Jeremey and I got totally lost on the way to the clinic, then they set back our appointment time anyways, ugh, even more waiting, and unable to use the restroom.

But to see your baby is worth all of it ... When the tech checked the babies size, to our excitement she was a perfect 30 weeks and 5 days. She was ahead of schedual as far as size!!! Can you believe it. The OB was off by that much, well maybe she wasn't OFF, but my belly is just measuring that much smaller. The tech didn't seem fazed by it, she just said "you have a super small frame, but your baby is growing just fine." Woo hoo, my little goober is really doing it!!! What a relief! My thoughts at this point were "Praise the Lord, now lets see her sweet little face on the ultrasound screen." Our daughter had other plans though, she was flipped upside down and backwards in my womb, facing my backbone, so there wasn't a chance we could see her face ...I had hardly slept a wink the night before in anticipation of seeing her again, and though we were bummed about that situation, the reason we went in was to make sure she was growing correctly, so we left the clinic thrilled at our babies progress. It was just a false alarm. For now, all is well!

In other news, we are moved in to our new place. There is still so much to do, still things to unpack and put in there places, and still so many things we would Love to get to make our condo seem like a home rather than a bachelor pad. The time is going quickly and the home projects seem never ending, especially being sick, and nearly 8 months pregnant. But boy are we blessed. This is a season of new things, our lives will never again be the same. While talking to Jeremey the other day I mentioned something about just being "a kid" still and then we realized that we aren't at all. Yes we Love to laugh and goof off and have fun like kids, and we will both always be the babies of our immediate familes, but the Lord has built us up over the past years, has taught us to Love Him deeper in a more real way, and has prepared us to be parents. Thank you Lord for trusting us with these things!!! (Hopefully soon we will have pictures to share of our new place.)

We're MOVING :)!!!

Yes, it's true, we are officially moving ... the Lord has provided in His perfect timing, and has blessed us with a condo just a couple months before the birth of our baby. We have been praying about where the Lord is leading us, and how we would find space to care for our growing family. YAYAY, we are so excited! Even better, we are just moving right down the road, into staff housing condos, no long drawn out moving days!!! We are thrilled for the little things, things that a lot of people might take for granted. Since we have been living in a dorm room for almost a year since we have gotten married, we have gotten use to very close quarters, and inventive living. Some of the things we are most excited about:

- A sink (yes we are excited to have a kitchen, but the sink is what we rave about mostly, a double sink to do the dishes in, instead of using the bathroom one, plus we have a dish washer, what is a dish washer???).

- A washer and dryer, thats revolutionary, no more driving across campus 4 times a day to load and unload in the student laundry room.

- A stove, and oven, oh what cooking possibilities are opened up.

- A room for our BABY ... thank you Lord, thank you thank you Lord.

- A space for my husband to work early in the morning without waking his insomniac wife up!!!

- 2 Bathtubs, oh to be pregnant and be able to take a bath!!!

- A living space, somewhere for friends to come over where they don't have to see our bed at the same time as they sit on our couch. Can't wait to have our bed in its own seperate room! As well as having a larger space to have sick days. It can get so claustrophobic being sick every day in one room with just 4 white walls.

We are so thankful to have been graciously provided this new place by the bible college. As a soon to be mamma, it is so comforting to know that my baby will have a little area to call her own and to grow!

It's FALL, the craziest and yet most wonderful time of the year!!!

A week ago today, the 24th was my 26th birthday ... since when did my early 20's escape me??? I am so blessed though, one reason being that I am excited to start my later 20's with a radically different plan for my life in store. I spent ages 21-25 looking for answers to my health problems that the Lord knew I would NOT discover during that frame of time. But now I am looking forward to the next 5 years of my 20's, serving my husband, the Lord, and caring for my baby, if the Lord wills to bring her to us safely.

This last weekend we decided to drive to Arizona for the weekend to visit Jeremey's family for my birthday, and to get out of the heat, and into .... some more intense heat. It was a blessed time. We had Red Lobster for my birthday, my favorite, and a mini celebration party with pies on Saturday. Despite being terribly sick all of Saturday, it is always a joy to hang out with such a big energy filled family of terribly cute babies, on the brink of teenage adolescents, and gracious brothers, sisters and parents. We Love being Aunts and Uncles, I really feel so Loved by all of them when they come running to squeeze and hug us, and ask us continuously to move to Arizona to live with them. They are the funniest, sweetest most beautiful kids in the world. Our 4 year nephew even sat on the bottom of his stairs for 2 hours with a juicebox waiting for us when he heard the news of us coming, he eventually gave up, and made us a whole bag of cookies instead. Thanks Micah! Here is a picture of the fam last year at thanksgiving, the little ones have grown up quite a bit since then.

I didn't even intend on writing all that, I guess I just realized how much I miss them. My birthday came with many fun gifts, many of which were for the baby. An amazing diaper bag, sent from Oregon, thanks mom and Steve, and then one of the neatest gift ideas I've seen thus far, a whole arrangement of baby shoes, but not just any. All the brands my husband wore growing up, which just so happen to be most of the brands I wore too, just in miniature size!!! Nikes, Adidas, All Stars, Converse and Vans, Jeremey's favorite!!! Woo Hoo. Here is a picture of a few pairs.

Someday I would Love to get a pair of Sanuks and Toms for our little one. I think those are the only brands I wear these days, just imagine how cute she would be in them! I already looked them up and fell in Love.

Overall it was time well spent. But now we are back in California ready to take on the FALL, best time of the year. Next up, 1 year anniversary, baby shower and mom comes to visit, Jeremey's birthday, thanksgiving, end of the semester craziness, OUR babies due date, and then Christmas, all back to back. It's going to be an eventful 3 months, keep praying. Our bundle of joy is doing well, she tumbles and keeps me up a lot, but it is so exciting. We got some blood test results back this morning, and turns out I AM anemic, with low vitamin potassium levels. So I'll start taking the needed medication for that soon, and hopefully that will help improve even the slightest bit of the faintness and dizziness issues. Sorry for such a random post. But thats the Wilsons for ya!!!

27 weeks!!!

So, many of you have asked for more belly shots ... I thought I would throw one in of my face as well, and of our vacuum, I know everyone wants to see that. I am 27 weeks along here, 13 to go if she is full term. I feel big, and to my eye I look big, but people are still saying "you are hardly showing." This always makes me want to run to the closest mirror and/or eye doctor to see what these people are talking about. But I always seem to see some strange looking pregnant girl looking back at me. In any case, Jeremey and I are truckin along, and are so excited that we have made it to the 27 week mark, well not us, but her. But keep praying, the bigger she and I get, the more off balance and sick I feel. Not good for someone who has a chronic balance problem to start with. Next week will mark 7 months!!!

This is my first outfit, and probably one of the only ones I will buy for my little girl before she is born. Not because we don't Love her, and want to withhold the fashions of this world from her, but because we are blessed with friends and family members who have given us many hand-me-downs, and/or bought us a plethora of newborn clothes already. We Love all the gifts we have received, thank you so much. I am not much of a shopper, for anything, ever, I think I have actually had a phobia of the mall since I was very young, weird I know, but while shopping this last weekend for some much needed maternity jeans, I saw this little dress and couldn't resist. It just looks like something my girl would wear, probably not till she is 6 months or so, but nonetheless!

Preparing for the unknown

(This picture really has nothing to do with the blog post, but I just wanted to put it up anyways, maybe as some sort of attention grabber, or maybe because I didn't know what other picture to use. haha. Jeremey and my kindergarten school pictures.)

Do you ever feel as though you are preparing for something that you won't be able to accomplish?I have too. At this very moment the Lord is trying to reach me and assure me that He will not leave or forsake me. I reluctantly at times take His word as fact, and still worry my little mind off. If you are a women, or a human being with emotions, you have probably experienced this too.

The truth will set you free, so I will be honest and tell those that read my blog that I am scared. Scared that in 2 1/2 months my little miracle will be arriving, (if not earlier) and I am in most every way prepared. And even if I had all the preparation in the world under control, the perfect baby room, living quarters, baby gear, clothes, finances .... there is still constantly a never ending unknown in my life. Though all of those physical things, that most expectant parents are trying to prepare for are unknowns in my life as well, those are the least of my concerns. I am mostly trying to prepare for whether or not I will be able to take care of my baby physically. It breaks my heart to even pose such a question to myself, but I have to remain realistic and understand that I might not be able to with my illness. I know that people wonder this all the time when they see me, or hear from me, but most do not ask. I don't blame you, haha. I would be a little scared to as well. I am stricken with fear as I anticipate having to protect such a tiny life, when for the last 4 years I have not even been able to care for my own. I worry about whether I will have the strength to feed her, to walk with her, to play with her and to provide for her. I worry about the scrutany from other mothers, as they see me "not doing what they think is right" for my baby, not giving birth the right way, feeding her the right way, dressing her the right way and so on. I worry about competition that I do not want to take part of, feeling inadequate as a mother because I have so many setbacks physically.

The list goes on ... but these are all worries that are just attacks from the enemy, attacks that keep me up at night wondering how on earth I can do this. But that is the thing ... I CAN'T, I will NEVER be able to do it. Not without the Lord, and even if I can't do it physically He will provide help for me. I can't be afraid to live life the way the LORD has made me to live it. He has called me to live my life as a sick individual, and He has called me to live it as a Loving wife, and as a Loving mom. If He didn't want these things for me he would not have allowed for me to become ill, to get married, or to conceive a child. I tend to be afraid to be who I am around most people, I don't want you guys to know how sick I really feel, or how incapable I really am. I don't want you to question my abilities ... what a joke .... all I am doing by hiding my weaknesses is covering the testimony and faithfullness of the Lord through my trial. If people don't know how IMPOSSIBLE my physical situation is, and how IMPOSSIBLE it will be to care for a newborn as a chronically ill person, how on earth will anybody ever be able to watch the Lord work this MIRACLE in my life and beat all the impossibilities??? They WON'T. So here is my opening up :) I cannot do one tiny thing without the Lord, often I cannot even walk without assistance, and here I am taking on one of the hugest things I will ever experience. Please don't read this blog without recognizing the power of Jesus. I cannot strive to achieve anything in my own efforts, it is ALL Him.

I Love my little girl (oh how I wish I could call her by name on here, but that little secret will come later). Jeremey and I can't even believe how much we can talk about her and it never grows old. If everything else in my physical body fails, I know that my Love for her never will, and even though we may have nothing physically or situationally prepared for her arrival. We are prepared to shower her with the Love of Christ. Nothing will ever stand in the way of that!

A little hello

Not much going on as of recently, so this will be a pretty uneventful blog post. No pictures, no news, just a lot of waiting. Jeremey and I are trying to be patient as we wait for the Lord to answer what seem to be a lot of very persistant prayers. We don't mind if the answers are yes or no, do this, do that, stay here or go there, we just want to hear something. This season seems to be a very refining time in our lives, where we have been stripped down to a very raw point, where trusting the Lord for our very breath is vital. (I have been having a pretty hard time with constriction is my breathing lately, not sure what it is, but we are trusting the Lord that that He will lead us where we need to go if it continues to get worse.) That among a long list of daunting symptoms continue to be a part of my physical day to day battle. Please continue to pray!

Onto other news. We Love the Lord, we Love each other (Yesterday was our 10 month anniversary). We Love our sweet baby who is battling right along with me everyday, and is the strongest little girl in the world (You are getting the biggest kiss ever when you arrive for fighting so hard for 9 months inside of such a sick mommy). We Love our friends who have blessed us so much in the last few weeks with fellowship, conversation, understanding, and food!!! You have no idea how much it has meant to us, and we Love and miss our family.

Health, provision, direction, finances, housing, and wisdom, please keep these things in prayer!

22 weeks, A Christmas baby, or so it seems that way.

Well, today is baby Wilson's 22nd week in the womb. I can feel her move quite a bit now, and even though I actually lost 1 pound according to our ob visit on Thursday, I am significantly much bigger to the eye. We really have no idea why or how I lost weight again, but Jeremey and I always joke about how strange it is that at 22 weeks pregnant (117 pounds) that I am still so much smaller than I was back in my first and second semester here at bible college (2005/2006). I am actually starting to wear my clothes from back then. It's interesting because I never knew I weighed over 115, but most obviously I must have. Anyways, I guess that is insignificant information to most. I was just thinking out loud. I suppose that means that I don't have to buy quite as many maternity clothes! (not sure why this paragraph is bold, but I can't get rid of it, sorry)

Today, we went in for our midway scan of the baby, to get a thorough check to see if she is developing correctly. So far so good. It seems as though every time we go in though, the doctor moves the due date closer and closer to Christmas. Though I have a very strong feeling that our baby is going to arrive early, her technical due

date is now December 23rd ... oh my. I am going to stick to December 20th in my mind. It is more settling, and gives me hope that I won't be laying on a hospital bed during Christmas Eve. Every time we get to see her on the ultrasound, the tech tells us that she is such a squirmer, and it always takes forever to get her to sit still for any pictures ... does this remind you of somebody ... especially Wilson family members??? A little female Jeremey on the way if you ask me. YAY!!!

So as of Lately, I have been feeling even more sick than usual. I know ... how could I feel more sick??? I wonder too. Not with morning sickness, phew, thats over for the most part. But with extreme dizziness, far worse than more than my normal vertigo. We have no idea why, and I have started to feel as though it is not my place to figure out. What I do know, is that I am slowly coming to grips with the fact that there is a GOOD chance that I will NOT ever start to feel better till my pregnancy is over, and only the Lord knows if it will even happen then. It is a strange place to get to, but it is building Jeremey and my faith, as each day gets harder and harder. There really is no place to turn or to place my trust than in Jesus. I am of course anxious about what this means for the future, how I will deal with labor, and especially how I will handle taking care of a newborn, but I will drive myself crazy if I think about it too much. We would Love all the prayers we can get. Strength for my husband, the baby and myself. Emotional strength as we are humbled by the fact that we may need to aquire more help in the future once the baby is born. Prayer that the Lord will supply all of our "needs" not "wants" whether that be physically, spiritually or financially. Prayer for my physical body. It is very weak and needs much supernatural strength to endure the days to come. Prayer that Jeremey and my hearts would be sold out to the Lord, not just in trial, but in every aspect of life. Prayer that the Lord would continue to supply fellowship, friends who would willingly come alongside us in this time and support us in the Lord. (We have amazing friends, haha, you all are huge blessings to our lifes, and have encouraged us so much!), and prayer for wisdom and direction in the next 4 months!!! Hope you enjoy the pictures!

Belly Pictures!!!

Many have questioned whether or not I am truly pregnant, hahaha. I too will admit that for a while there I was just as confused as the rest of you as to where on earth that baby could be hiding inside of me. I thought I would never pop. But week 19 the tides changed. Now I feel like I grow a couple of sizes each week, haha. In all reality though I am over half way through my pregnancy and have only gained 6 pounds so far. But after 14 weeks of not gaining a pound, those 6 pounds are monumental!!!! So here are the long awaited belly pictures that so many people have asked me about. They aren't good quality, since they were taken on my iphone, and sorry there are no head shots. But this will do for now.

The first picture is my belly at 10 weeks pregnant!!!

The second picture is my belly at 20 weeks pregnant!!!