"This is a story that is often untold, and overlooked. A raw adventure of fighting the elements of illness, as a young wife and mother by seeking Jesus first. Start from the beginning, and see how the Lord can take a very broken and ill individual and bring about a truly unique LIFE and LOVE story." - BRYNN (& Jeremey and Tatum).

Friday, January 25, 2013

Lets get real ... a little bit of raw dialogue from the Wilson 3 household.

On Monday night as my husband lay on the couch sick with a cold (which he never usually does because he is constantly on the go). He had time to watch me play with Tatum, and then get her ready for her bath. Out of the blue he says to me " You are a completely different person now then when we got married." I instantly knew what he meant, but being the female that I am, I asked him "what do you mean?" just so he would expand on his thought process. He then went on to explain how even when we got engaged I was so different. Physically I could hardly move, walk, or do simple tasks due to my chronic illness with vertigo and pain. I couldn't walk into a grocery store, I couldn't hold good conversations with people, I couldn't really do anything. My illness slowed me down to an almost not functional human being. He said my attitude was different, my outlook on life was different, everything was different. We hardly went anywhere, or did anything because I was so sick, and if we did go anywhere or did anything, it all revolved around how long I could last or if I could even make it there at all. He continued the conversation by saying ...

"Don't take this the wrong way or be offended but, I would relate it to being in prison. Playing basketball out in the prison yard one second, surrounded by barb wire fences, then all of sudden the fences are gone, and you realize you aren't in prison anymore, but you are just shooting hoops with your friends at a park. Set free."

Wow, how intense is that ??? I WASN'T offended ONE bit. I knew exactly what he meant, and exactly how he felt.

You see, what most people don't know, or understand is that in many senses of the word, we WERE in a prison. Not spiritually, we ALWAYS had the Lord, but physically we were bound to the confines of a very sick and deteriating body. We were chained to the 4 walls of our small dorm room that we lived in. And we were trapped within our own understanding of how sick I really was. We didn't know how to verbally explain it to others so they would grasp the intensity of it. Nor did we want to burden others with the extensiveness of it all. I was in bed literally 22 to 23 hours a day, Jeremey was my crutch as I walked, and my voice to others when I didn't have the energy or the brain power to speak. If I did go out, and see people, and act semi-normal it was only because I was pumped full of medication that alltered who I really was ... 

My husband went on by saying " We can't forget how hard it was, or how far we have come. You are a totally different person now. I know you are still sick. But sometimes it doesn't feel like I have a sick wife anymore, when I tell people you are, it doesn't even sound right." 

Again ... WOW ... these are words I never thought he would say. We reflected on all the things in which I CAN do now. How we are actually able to go places and experience things outside of where we live. How instead of constantly thinking about my illness, we can focus on our daughter. We can take her on walks, play with her at the park. We grocery shop together, we parent together, do chores together, go to church together and so on. We always say our life is very simple, and people probably think we are pretty weird or not "put together" because of that. We don't have a 5 year plan, (we just got so to use to living hour by hour with my illness.) We don't own a house, or have any near future goal to get one, and we don't vacation to luxerious destinations or desire to. We don't dress awesome, haha, or shop a lot, we don't stay out super late, and we don't always have to be DOING SOMETHING. To us, just hanging out and having family dance parties in our living room, is light years beyond what we USE to do, and far beyond what I thought I would ever be doing. Raising a child together ... on our way to raising 2 together, is one of the biggest miracles I can possibly fathom. To raise our children up in the Lord is what we desire and see for our future. This isn't always easy, and we definitely fail a lot, but it IS our ultimate goal

I am so so so thankful, for the beautiful, simple life the Lord has formed for our family, and for how far out of the darkness he has pulled us. Ironically, today, as I write this, I am feeling very sick. My dizzness/vertigo is bad, and my body is weak and a train wreck due to my growing belly. During pregnancies I tend to revert back to a lot of my previous symptoms, probably due to the crazy hormones and everything else that carrying a baby entails. But I take none of my words back. I am not healed, I still have rough days. But I am BETTER. My husband is an insightful man, and a tender one, to watch me interact with Tatum while he lay sick on the couch, and to recongize the sheer growth and tremendous differences that the Lord has done with my illness and with our familiy. It's moments and conversations like the one on Monday evening, that really put life into perspective!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Baby boy threads ... (Wilson addition)

I have heard it said a million times before ... "girl clothes are SO much more fun to shop for than boy clothes." This is a popular opinion, and I'm sure for a lot, if not most women, it's very true. But in this moms humble opinion, I would have to believe differently. I think if I were a normal women, with a normal fashion sense, an eye for accessorizing, and liked to dress up, this might be the case for me too. Unfortunately I am just NOT that girl. I am a plain Jane, t shirt and jeans, simple kind of dresser. I like earthy colors, simple patterns, if any, and most of all COMFORT. Maybe this makes me boring, I don't really care, or maybe it makes me the perfect mom for shopping for a boy. Not that shopping for Tatum hasn't been fun. I've actually grown to love it quite a bit. Granted, I don't dress her overly girly, or frilly by any means, but her feminine little face makes up for all my lack of feminine touch. I personally just think little boy clothes are so fun, if dressed tastefully. I'm not the biggest fan of dump trucks and bright colored clothes, but I'm a sucker for greys, browns and blues, and any deep color in general. So here are a few of my favorite future boys clothes ... If I had all the money in the world that is ...

Flannel plaid is one of my favorite boy styles ever. Add a hood, and you have completely won my heart!

Sweet little sweater for a dapper little man. I'm in love with dark blue!

I love a boy in cords ... cords are Jeremeys favorite type of pants, and I can't wait to have a little minnie Jeremey in matching ones. Plus these are a skinnier style ... which I love. Not a huge fan of super wide
 legged pants.

How wonderful are these? They are so simple, and I am in love with the forest green color!

Simple grey t-shirt, with a little detailing, and nice fabric ... love it!

 A deep blue, V neck onesie. Is there really anything better than this?

 I'm an Oregonian. I really like puffy vests. This super cute blue with grey trimming makes me so happy!


 I am the biggest sucker for jackets you will ever know. This black one would look great on a little guy

 Boys light wash jeans ... can't wait.

 Offset stripe onsie. simple but perfect!

 Anything with a hood, and a front hand pocket is my type of style!

Ok please. Those are the cutest jeans I have ever seen!

 Black long sleeve shirt, a must have for my boys wordrobe. Black is just so handsome!

 Baby boys in sweat pants melt my heart ...

 I love the wash and fit of these jeans. Team it with little converse shoes, and I'm done for.

Artistic and original art on onesies is so fun!

Suspender jeans, ridiculous!

 Cozy jammies for this mom that loves to be cozy. Can't wait to snuggle our little guy.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Our year in Instagrams ...

I've seen a few different people across the blog world do an overview of their year by using thier instagram photos. I thought it was a simple and organized way to remember the years past events in chronological order. So that is what this blog is all about. This year was a jammed packed one, and as much as I would love to post every picture, and every little event (because they are important to me) I assume that my readers wouldn't be stoked about going through hundreds of pictures, haha. So here is an overview of just the highlights of our year, starting from the beginning.

In mid January, we welcomed London Grace Dorsey into the Wilson family. If you remember, my sister in law stephanie had a very very high risk pregnancy, this being her 8th C-section, so this birth was a miracle for both Stephanie and London!

It may not seem significant to you ... but it was to me ... this was the day Tatum moved from rear car seat facing to front car seat facing. This simple transition saved my life, as it was unbearably difficult to tend a rear facing baby in a moving car with chronic vertigo.

Us Wilsons would love to be a bit more "home design-er-ish" but we just aren't. Either we don't have the time, money or energy to put a lot of effort into our home. But in late february, my mom came down to visit, and we did a little facelift to our living room, getting new furniture and bookshelves. For the first time we felt like adults in our home, rather than it being like a bachelor pad.

I love this instagram. It was taken on one of the first warm days of 2012 in February and represents the beginning of a long season of my health improving. This was one of our first long neighborhood walks, which became an almost daily routine. Now Tatum is obsessed with walks and asked me to take her on one every 10 minutes .. literally.

In early March I got to introduce Tatum to my best friend Jenny (who lives in Washington) for the first time. Such a special moment! 

Late March, Jeremey got the chance to film and edit a few music videos that can be seen on earlier blogs. This particular one was shot right below our balcony in our yard.

Easter break my parents came down and we were all able to stay in their condo for a week. Tatum swam her heart out, and loved every second with her grandparents. Heres my little gal in her bunny ears!

That same vacation, my parents drove down (from oregon) a car load of my belongings from before I was married. They also bought us a brand new bedroom set, and queen size bed. Here is our happy little family also snuggled together in a bed that finally fits all of us.

In early May a dear friend of ours, Brent Yim, went home to be with the Lord, after a year long battle with brain cancer. It was a sobering time for us all, and we still miss him tremendously.

The end of May, Jeremey finished teaching his very first video ministry class. At the end of the semester the students are required to film a 5 minute short film to be shown to the student body. It was a wonderful way to end the semester. Jeremey has now taught the books of 1 and 2nd Peter twice, and video ministry twice. I'm so proud of him!

This is the day we finally opened up the gates in our living room and let Tatum have fee reign of the house. She has never stopped running the halls since, and hanging on the stove was the very first thing she did.
This is a very sentimental instagram to me, as it was a very defining and emotional moment in my year, where I realized that the Lord had drastically been healing my very chronically ill body, without me even realizing it. I spent the whole day at the zoo with a few friends of ours without my wheel chair and without feeling sick!

In early June, my mom came to visit, and Jeremey and I left to film a wedding together for a whole weekend without Tatum. It was the first time we have ever left her overnight and I missed her so much I couldn't stand it. But she had a blast with grandma.

Our niece Madison got to spend the summer with us here on campus, while she was at a highschool retreat. It was such a blast having family around for 6 whole weeks!

Each year, we spend a long vacation in AZ during the month of July. It's the hottest month in the hottest state in the US, but we love the time we get to spend there. As a result of literally HAVING to be in the pool every breathing second, we usually leave vacation with the best tans of our lives.

The best part about our vacations to AZ, are the sheer number of cousins. This picture only captures a few of them, but Tatum is literally in love with them all, and vice versa.

July is also the time in which Jeremeys job spends each Tuesday of the month having staff beach days. It is an amazing time of fellowship, good bbq food, the ocean and lots of staff kids. This is one of the my favorite instagrams of the year. Tatum and her friend Zara, just observing the waves.

Towards the end of the summer, we spent the whole day at the San Diego fair. I LOVE fairs. It was another beautiful time where I felt great, and was able to spend the whole day with my family without using my wheelchair, or feeling sick hardly at all!

One of the last horrahs of the summer was having a big Wilson family vacation to Disneyland. We only live one hour from it, but hardly ever go because Tatum had previously been too little to really enjoy it. But she loved it this time, and she absolutely fell in LOVE with Minnie and Mickey. Even as I was writing this blog, she saw this Minnie picture, and started screaming, ad searching for anything in our house that also had minnie on it.

2 whole days in both Disneyland parks, was a pretty exhausting thing, especially with so many kids. But I was feeling great, and it was a time we all will never forget.

Just after our vacation to Disneyland, we were overjoyed to find out that we were expecting another baby. We had been planning and praying for the Lords will in this area, so you can imagine our excitement when the test read "PREGNANT!"

Mid September Jeremey and I spent 2 1/2 weeks apart. The longest yet, and hopefully the longest ever. He flew over to Israel to teach 2 weeks of the bible at an extension campus, while I split my time between Oregon and Arizona. Tatum had a great time camping with her cousins, and hanging out with her grand parents, while I began a long string of horrible pregnancy vertigo, that is just now beginning to let up.

While he was away we tried to facetime at least every couple of days. The connection in the old city of Jerusalem wasn't exactly the strongest, but it was strong enough for us to talk for at least a couple minutes. This was the trip where Tatum officially started calling Jeremey "daddy" instead of "momma." Thank goodness!

Mid October was one of the most exciting times of the year, when we learned that we were having a baby boy! I had a feeling all along, but wasn't going to dare proclaim my intuition to the world. It was a day Jeremey and I will never forget as we sat in the ultrasound room and the tech announced the gender!

Late October is always an exciting time of year no matter what. We tried to do many festive things, like pumpkin patch visits with close friends, pumpkin carving, and harvest festivals!

Tatum went as a bumble bee for halloween. Not terribly inventive, but terribly cute nonetheless.

Every year, we try to get up to Oregon at least once as a family, for a long vacation. Usually it is around thanksgiving time. It is always such a drastic change for us from warm weather to freezing weather. But it is always much needed. We love visiting family and friends!

 This was also one of my favorite instagrams of the year. Tatum soaking in the Oregon morning briskness surrounded by a world of fall leaves! Something we don't see a lot of in California.

Christmas came fast this year ... when doesn't it??? It was filled with many Christmas parties, and new family traditions. We had our own little family Christmas a week or so before the 25th because we were heading to AZ for the holiday. Christmas is so much better with a toddler!

At the tail end of each year, we get to celebrate the birth of our Tatum. She was born the day before new years eve. This year she had a glow in the dark dance party for her birthday, and it was a total hit! I can't believe I have a 2 year old!

This is the last instagram posted from 2012, and I think it is a great one! We rarely take pictures of all 3 of us, so this was a treat. Happy new years from the Wilsons!