1/3 of a year old ... my boy

My sweetheart of a boy is 4 months old today ... 1/3 of a year old, and I am begging for my time with him to slow down ...

River is past the stage of all day sleep marathons, and easy going couch placements, and has moved on to 2 to 3 naps a day,  has been faithfully rolling across the living room for a month now, and is soon on his way to crawling. My second time around as a mother, has been such a pleasant one. The Lord has been so gracious with me in giving me the most easy going baby. Not that Tatum was very hard at all, but with her I was desperately sick for almost the whole first year of her life, and missed out on enjoying so many of the little precious moments of early motherhood. So this time around I have been soaking up my time with my little boy, knowing full well that he will soon be an "independent" toddler full of spunk like his sister.

Things about River that melt my heart

1. He is so so gentle, he has the sweetest demeanor of any baby I have ever met ... He is just so go with the flow and pleasant to be around.
2. His deep brown eyes, and darker coloring. When I was still pregnant with River, I had a very strong feeling as to what he was going to look like. I always felt that he would break the mold of his sister and have his moms dark eyes and skin, and thats just what we got. So happy to have my brown eyed boy.
3. He is the most curious, alert little man ever. Seriously though, he is very attentive to everything around him, almost like he totally understands whats going on.

4. His huge contagious smile. He smiles ALL the time, at everything and anyone. Truly so so happy, and he has the cutest little dimples on the right side of his face when he smiles big.
5. He is very forgiving, especially to his big sister who loves with all her strength and often can't help but tackle him and accidentally hurt him. But far more often than not, he isn't even phased and will grin right through it.

Who am I??? The blogs future.

I have taken a sort of blog haitus lately, I'm partly sad about this, because I love documenting lifes milestones with my children and husband, but really, that isn't what my blog was intended to be about. The original premise behind me starting this was to document my life as a chronically ill wife and mother. To get the word out there, that what may seem IMPOSSIBLE in our flesh, is indeed possible with the Lord. I have shared many battles, trials, triumps and acchievements through my writings over the years, and hopefully it has been an encrouagment to you who read it. But now I sit here at a stand still, wondering what direction to go in the future with my blog, considering that I am feeling SO much better, and don't have the constant up and down battles with illness/motherhood to write about like I use to. (I do still have my hard days with vertigo and fatigue.) But for the most part the Lord has drastically healed my body, and my 8 year journey with illness is becoming something of the past. What beautiful words to be able to write. Words that I thought would never leave my fingertips.

Now my battles consist of finding who I am outside of my illness. Not that I really "battle" with it because the word "battle" usually alludes to something bad, but it is definitely an adjustment. I became sick when I was 21, and now I am almost 29. Some would say the years of your 20's are some of the most crucial, life changing and adventurous, but I lost a lot of those years within the walls of hospitals, and at the hands of doctors. Now here I am turning 29 in September, having just come out of 8 years of illness, and feeling as if I am back to being 21 again, hahaha. Except for the tiny little details of getting married, and having 2 beautiful children. I look at my life and think, how did I ever get here in the midst of all that trial? I am not my 21 year old self anymore, but I am also not a chronically ill bed ridden girl either, so who am I?  It's simple really, who I am now is an indiviual who has seen the goodness of the Lord through hardship, someone who has seen desperate pleading prayers be answered, someone who can come alongside others when they are suffering and someone who really does appreciate the small things in life, because for many years even those small things didn't exist. I am a wife, a mother, and a friend ...  I really believe that because of it all, that I have wisdom beyond my years. Wisdom that I hope to pass on to my children as they face trials in the future.

As for the blog and what its future holds, I'll write as the Lord leads, and as for my life now, as someone having been set free (for the most part) from extreme illness, I will continue on in the new craziness that the Lord has set before me ... the crazy, non stop, frantic, wonderful life as a wife and mother of 2.

Just because I haven't posted in so long, and my babies are growing so fast. I had to post a few pictures. Even though they don't go with the blog at all. (please excuse the fact that my daughter has only her undies on, it's the middle of summer in southern California, can't avoid it.)

(Yes I know that is a ridiculous picture of me, but it's me.)